{"id":1349,"date":"2017-08-14T03:06:56","date_gmt":"2017-08-14T08:06:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mentalhealth-online.com\/mentalhealth\/?p=1349"},"modified":"2018-01-22T02:01:09","modified_gmt":"2018-01-22T07:01:09","slug":"what-forgiveness-isnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mentalhealth-online.com\/mentalhealth\/what-forgiveness-isnt\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness: What Forgiveness Isn’t"},"content":{"rendered":"

In our last post, I shared thoughts about exactly what forgiveness<\/i> is and what it means. Today, I want to take a little bit of time to look at what forgiveness isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t<\/strong> and what it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t<\/strong> mean. There are a number of common misconceptions when it comes to forgiveness. \u00c2\u00a0 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important to clear some of them up before moving on with this Challenge.<\/p>\n

If you were a little reluctant about joining us — or aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t quite ready to give it 100% — one or more of these misconceptions may be holding you back. Let me quickly run you through them so you gain an even-better understanding of what forgiveness is and isn’t all about.<\/p>\n

1. Forgiveness Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Mean You Excuse And Condone <\/strong><\/p>\n

When we forgive people, we do it despite knowing that what they did was wrong and possibly hurtful. It does in no way mean that we excuse and condone their behavior or that we suddenly agree with them. Far from it. Instead we decide to forgive despite<\/strong> what they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done.<\/p>\n

\"Forgiveness<\/a>Forgiveness simply means that we choose to get past it and bring closure for our own sake. Forgiveness is much more about the person doing the forgiving than it is about the one being forgiven. It helps us to not only move past what happened, but also stop feeling grief, anger, and pain about it. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very<\/em> freeing<\/strong> experience. Forgiveness is about acceptance of things we cannot change, or over which we have no control.<\/p>\n

2. Forgiveness Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Mean Giving Up <\/strong><\/p>\n

To forgive someone doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re giving up. We can still work on finding justice or continuing to work towards improving things and forgive at the same time. It simply means that we choose to let go enough that the anger, pain, and fear no longer paralyzes us.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness is a very freeing feeling. It helps us move on with our lives.\u00c2\u00a0 It doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re giving in and suddenly going along with everything the other person does. In fact, we can fully forgive someone and continue to not<\/strong> spend time with them.<\/p>\n

3. Forgiveness Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Mean You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re Weak <\/strong><\/p>\n

To be forgiving also isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a sign of weakness. Actually, the opposite is true. It takes a lot of strength and character to be able to forgive and move on. It doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t turn you into a pushover. It shows your strength of character and faith.<\/p>\n

4. Forgiveness Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Let Them Get Away With Anything<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last, but not least, it’s important that, when you forgive people,\u00c2\u00a0 you not feel as though you let someone get away with anything. You can be forgiving and<\/strong> understanding and — at the same time — insist that they make up for what they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done.<\/p>\n

I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stress enough how forgiveness really isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about the other person.\u00c2\u00a0 Forgiveness is about you.\u00c2\u00a0 Forgiveness is what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to help you<\/p>\n